Warren Beatty

As long as I keep refusing to submit DNA for those tests, I can safely say Warren Beatty is not my dad.

Tumblr Wants To Be My Dad

We have a new page, get to following:

http://yrnotmydad.tumblr.com/

Smoking Fat Baby

My dad kicked the habit decades ago.

Jon Hamm

Jon Hamm is not my dad. And thank God, because wanting to fuck my dad would probably be pretty traumatizing for me right now.

Richard Dreyfuss

Richard Dreyfuss is my dad's doppelganger. My dad has been mistaken for Dreyfuss more than once and asked for his autograph. The funniest part about that, in case you didn't realize, is that there are people in the world who want Richard Dreyfuss' autograph.

John Wayne Gacy

Slim possibility, but as far as I know, not my dad.

John Phillips

Thank God, because ew.

Carrol O'Connor aka Archie Bunker

Carrol O'Connor looks a lot like my dad, but isn't quite my dad. Sammy Davis Jr. once kissed them both, so I guess that makes them Eskimo Brothers. Still, not my dad.

The Nuge

If Ted Nugent was my father, he would've adopted me when I was 17 and made me his girlfriend.

Gene Simmons

Gene Simmons is also not my dad. At least I really hope not.

The Pope

The Pope is not my dad.